To continue from my last post, here’s a little more detail of the hunt so far (including the wild boar peaking through the brush right now!).

So I’ve already gotten my first job offer. And by “already” I mean I got it a year ago. The company that I did my internship with offered me a position, with a pretty reasonable salary (likely the hightest I’ll be offered with my B.S.). I dragged the offer for almost a solid year, but about 6 weeks ago my old manager called me and told me he needed a solid ‘yay’ or ‘nae’. With grad. school still a real possibility I had no choice but to turn it down. A few classmates were shocked that I did, but I did. It was a good job, but it wasn’t a great job. It wasn’t the sort of job that I would’ve quit my job, moved to a new city, and spent 4 years of college for, if that makes sense.

I’ve said a few times since, the determination of whether or not I’m an idiot for being so picky is forthcoming. If I land a job that makes me pee my pants a little, then it was the right move. If I’m looking at management positions at new Target in three months, then I’m an idiot.

Since job offer #1, I’ve gone on one job interview. It was for a software engineering position (i.e. not electronics) and I asked 3 out of the 5 people I interviewed with, “Why are you interviewing me when you really should be interviewing a computer science major?” Shockingly, I didn’t get the job offer.

Now, since then, I’ve come to realize that there are roughly 2.7 shit-tons of software engineering positions which are looking for electrical engineers to fill them. So far I’ve applied for none of them. In 3 weeks, I’ll probably start applying for a few.

This brings me to today. I’m sitting in a hotel room, typing out this post, in a non-Oregon city. It’s a small city, small enough that if I gave you the name you’d know (via quick web search) what company I was applying at (Which is why I’m not sharing the name for now; I try and keep career details off the blog). I had my interview yesterday. It went well, but could’ve gone better. This is my second interview and I’ve still got a little ring rust. But all-in-all, I expect it went well enough to warrant an offer.

The company seems OK, and it I got the impression that I’ll have an opportunity to move forward fairly quickly, which is pretty important to me at this stage. I worry a little bit about the market they’re in. Their product is fairly commoditized which means a portion of their profit cycle is outside of their control.

The city was, hmm. Well the city was nice but small. Very small. 200,000 people small. Small enough to make me worry. The weather also isn’t ideal, but I’ve realized that ideal weather to me is Portland, Seattle and maybe the bay area (San Francisco et. al.). In fact, these last couple of weeks I’ve begun to realize that I’m going to have to come to grips with the fact that my next step won’t be the ideal life I’ve been draining hours in the library to find.

I may have to accept that I’ll live in a place that’s too hot in the summer, too cold in the winter, or both. I think I’ve mentioned before that, as an engineer, it’s more likely that I’ll find jobs that are not in dense urban areas. So I may be the owner of a car once again. Similarly, living in a downtown condo with a few-block walk to good Chinese food may actually look more like a suburban townhouse with a quick drive to a local whatever.

Oh well, right? When I think about it, it kinda seems silly to compare what’s next against some ideal I’ve made up in my head. More appropriately I should compare what’s around the corner to what I left behind. 10,000 degree summers with a job as a technician which allowed me to work with some great engineers, but also some fucking dumb-as-shit engineers at a company who couldn’t see past my lack of degree to give me half a chance due in part to a middle management that had the people skills of a rabid grizzly bear. On top of that, though my new salary won’t be double my old salary, I expect to be at that point within 3-4 years. I fully expect the coming years to be good ones, but it seems that I do need to recalibrate my expectations.

Well I’m at the airport now, finishing up this post. The flight home boards a few more minutes. I gotta post this and go home. There’s still quite a bit of school work between now and June 14th. And of course, the job hunt continues.

I’ll try and keep you guys updated… but as you’ve come to expect, it may be a while.

So I’ve officially begun the job hunt. Over the past week I’ve spent 1-4 hours each day looking at job sites, company websites and general searching for more of the previous two.

While it’s still way early in the game, it hasn’t been the most positive start. I think I’ve mentioned this before but, my undergraduate advisor has for years been telling me that “the career begins at the master’s degree”. Though I tried to get into grad school, that’s not going to happen. But if my first week’s research has been any indication, he may be right.

I’ve been blindly confident that when I was done in academia I’d land a job. I’m getting an electrical engineering degree. There’s been a shortage of electrical engineers in the U.S. as long as I’ve been alive, I’ve got a 3.9 (well… 3.89), and I look stunning in spring-themed summer dresses. How could I not get a job?!? And I’m still pretty confident that I’ll land a job, what’s starting to worry me is whether or not it’ll be a job I want.

So far in the hunt, every job that entails design requires a minimum of a master’s degree. I’m seeing tons of jobs for what I call “blue collar engineering” (though really I should come up with a better name for it, as I don’t want to insinuate there’s anythiing negative about being blue collar). This is aggravating to no end. You spend so much time working on component theory, circuit theory, analog design and a little bit of RF design. Then find 8,000 jobs for sitting in a cubicle jerking off while writing C# code.

Like I said, it’s early. But after a week of researching I can’t imagine that I’ll be able to continue this quantity of research for another 2 weeks, as I think I’ll run out of places to look at.

For now however, the hunt has begun. I have a camouflage tie, two guns –flexes–, and a vial of urine from a hiring manager in heat which I bought online. Let’s see if I can bag me some big game.

Today is the second day of the 6th week which is the first week of the second half of the third term of my final year of college (fine, fine there’s a teeny tiny itsy bitsy chance that I’ll still go to grad schoo). So without further ado, here’s my current schedule:

I don't think I'll miss this...

• ECE413 – Senior Capstone 2
• ECE510 – RF IC (Radio frequency integrated circuits)
• UNST232(A/B) – Global environmental change

I was hoping my final term would be similar to the previous one, a little more laid back, a little more enjoyable. But it seems that PSU has to decided to try and give me one last ass kicking. The term isn’t terrible but I’m way too busy, and the job hunt is suffering as a result.

Speaking of the job hunt, I’d like to drop a blog soon about this.

Speaking of wanting to blog, I wish I wasn’t so busy.

Speaking of being so busy, what the hell am I doing writing this post??

Speaking of… ok… shutting up. <3

Spring break has just ended and I must admit it’s been an interesting week.

One of my tasks for the week has been to get my application to OSU sent out. rather than tell you about it in story form, here’s a set of bullet points listing the order of events (and we’re actually starting well before this week):

• I checked out the OSU website several months back see what their deadline was. They listed their deadline as being 90 days from the term you wish to begin. There was a caveat that particular colleges may have their own deadline restrictions.
• I hit up the engineering college’s website but found no additional restrictions.
• A few days ago I started my application.
• Sometime between then and yesterday, I heard a story on the radio talking about OSU. Due to the whole government sequester thing, OSU is losing 60% of its research budget. I realize funding is less likely.
• Yesterday I go back to keep working on the application. I go to the EE department’s website and see that no further applications are being accepted for Fall 2013.
• I then find a link that shows the deadline was January 15th. Over 2 months ago.

Now, I’d swear that I looked and never saw any such deadline. I’d swear to it. But I guess I’d be wrong then. OSU is out. I think it’s time to accept that grad school isn’t going to happen. I’ve got less than 3 months left before school is over. If I’m not going to grad school it’s time for me to get serious with the job hunting. Looks like my college career is coming to and end.

There is one other college that I was considering applying to. It’s pretty late in the game and I”m not sure if I’ll fill in the app. Either way though, grad school is not longer a “most likely” but rather a “highly unlikely”. At times I’m more OK with that than at other times. But either way, I gotta start moving in a direction.

You know, I woke up the morning after my first day with UW and remembered blogging while heavily drinking the night before. I didn’t read my post. I finished my trip and got home. I didn’t read my post. I wrote the second post relating to the trip. Then, when all of that was done, I read my post.

You see, I was drunk and angry and I remembered cursing a lot. I wanted to conclude my blogging on the matter before I read what I wrote and I didn’t want my own anger to influence what I said. But when I read my post, just moments ago, I was surprised at how reasonable it was. I had decided that I wouldn’t remove it, but if there was anything I regretted or whatnot, then I’d discuss it in this post. But I’m pretty ok with what was said (through there are quite a few typos I’ll try and go correct later (read: never)).

The other thing I wanted to do, was discuss my thoughts & feelings about where I stand now and what I see from where I stand.

I’ve spent the past few days trying to really analyze how I feel and what I want to push for in the coming weeks/months. I seem to have two conflicting resolutions about my future.

On one hand, I feel more & more that I should go to grad school no matter what. If I get accepted to OSU then I pay in-state tuition. I still have my retirement account which I could drain and get a majority (but not all) of the funding I’d need. Even if I don’t get funding, or get into a research lab, going to grad school and taking controls-theory classes is what I want.

Now on the other hand, I’ve also been feeling more & more OK with the idea of not going to grad school. At UW I got to meet with other grad schools who were “elite” enough to make it into the program. I also got a chance to get in some technical conversations with existing grad students at a presentation of project posters during the tour. In both cases I was unsurprised to find out just how ordinary they were. In both groups I found quite a few dim-witted individuals who were fantastically mediocre, further reaffirming my belief that education and intelligence are 100% decoupled from each other. But I’m not trying to get back on the soap box, there’s a reason I’m bringing this up here.

UW, while being a highly rated school, is no different from any other university on this planet. These universities survive by ensuring their enrollment rates are high enough to pay the bills. They survive by aiming towards the average, which in the case of humanity, is an incredibly non-impressive demographic. Time and again over these past 4 years I’ve been reminded that school is about the system, and the paper, and all the pretending & lying we have to do to not only get it, but to then act like it has some intrinsic value.

There’s a lot I want to learn, and do, and see. All of it has been put on hold while I chase this degree. Over the past few days I’ve thought about this. I’ve thought about Ted’s comment, about my own goals, and about the life I had before I came back to school. I miss not being endlessly broke and perpetually busy. I miss my standing Friday appointment at the Flying Saucer with Darius for beer and bullshit. I miss having time (and money) for projects. Or even the free time to think.

So, in a weirdly confusing way, I’ve strengthened my resolve to grad school no matter what while at the same time I’ve become much more ready to accept not going at all. Maybe this is some crazy mental survival strategy by my subconscious to keep me from choking someone in a fit of rage.

I feel pretty silly at this point for only appying to single grad school. Though I’ve missed the majority of deadlines, there are still a few reasonable options left. Spring break is coming up and I plan on getting a few more applications sent out. I want to give it a reasonable try to get into grad school, and after that I’m going to have to embrace whatever it is that comes next.

Once upon a time a college degree was pretty much impossible for me as I was simply too poor to afford it and too white and too male to get help. In 3 months I’ll have one of the toughest (if not the toughest) undergraduate degree you can get. I’ll have done with a core GPA of around 3.9, so I didn’t just do it, I killed it. However I feel about our education system, I should at least take a breath and allow myself to be happy for getting this far.

So I still don’t know for sure what I want my next step to be, but I’m finally getting to the point where I feel like it’s time to stop stressing out over it.

Que sera sera, right?